Graindrop #1

What Am I Doing and Why You Might Care

Hey, I’m Mark, and I’m going to try and keep this whole thing from being a real shitshow.

I was the studio manager for a global corporation for a lot of years. My team and I developed unique digital workflows for a high volume of complicated products. We made industry-leading photography, and it absolutely burned me out. So much so that it feels like my departure from the corporate world was the major catalyst for me to move from Southern California to Vancouver, Washington. That was about a year ago now, little less, but I love it. It’s green here. Clouds nestle in the hillsides along the Columbia River and I can see a snow-capped Mt. Hood on my way to Costco.

35mm HP5 with Yellow Filter

Commercial photography is losing more and more of its appeal the longer I’m up here. I had a decent thing going when I struck out on my own in California, but I wasn’t surrounded by the rivers and lakes I’m now used to. It wasn’t as black and white to me at the time the decision was made to move to the pacific northwest, but it’s blatantly clear to me now - I’m seeking calm. I’m seeking space for contemplative hikes and a slow appreciation of my surroundings, serenity and meditative practices. These tranquil goals have led me to make yet another big decision: I’m going all in film photography.

Now I’m sure some of you more seasoned film photographers out there might be thinking, “But, Mark - shooting and developing your own film, making prints in a darkroom for the first time, you’re going to waste insane amounts of money and drive yourself batshit insane in the process!” and thus far, compiling the last 6 months or so, you’d be right. But I haven’t had an outlet like this until now, and maybe this will be the piece that helps complete the puzzle.

I don’t remember much of my childhood but I remember my dad shot a Nikon FM2. My mom has baby pictures of me that were shot on a Nikon FM2. Now I shoot a Nikon FM2. I remember, when I was very young, the red light that barely seeped out from under the closed bathroom door and thinking how damn cool and mysterious that was. I remember once I got a little older he’d let me hang out in the cramped, makeshift darkroom while he developed and printed pictures he took of me that weekend. I just turned 42 years old this month. If he were around today I think he’d be pretty proud, pretty excited to see me falling down the same rabbit hole he did around this age.

The last time I took film half-seriously was over 20 years ago, but it was something I really enjoyed, I remember that. I developed my first roll in September of this year after taking a weekend class at Franklin Foto in Portland, OR. On the heels of making some ambitious goals to be named shortly, I decided I’d get a membership to the Franklin Foto darkroom and immerse myself in that incredible environment. I cannot overstate how grateful I am that such a place exists.

The first print I made at Franklin Foto

So over the last 6 months I’ve been shooting loads of film, mostly Ilford Delta 100 or stuff I’ve kept in my freezer for literal decades. I spent too much money buying new gear to better support my landscape photography efforts. After much encouragement from a new friend here, I also purchased a 4x5 camera. Now I’m falling dangerously in love with large format, eyeballing 4x5 film sheets on B&H like I’m in a sketchy alley trying to score a hit. Fortunately I’ve had a trusty 35mm and incredible 120 camera tucked away, but anyway, I don’t have any more money.

First solo outing with the 4x5 - First shot on 35mm Tri-X, second on 4x5 Ilford Delta 100

So what am I even doing? Man, I don’t know. I’ve got some goals for 2026 but I won’t be heartbroken if I can’t knock them all out. I have a lot to learn.

• Create clean negatives - I mean clean, like no scratches from impatiently jamming film into reels. No scratches on my 4x5 negs from either loading film holders or dev tanks. I want dense, evenly developed, chef’s kiss negatives every time.

• Print my work - I haven’t printed yet, not really at least. I printed from a 35mm neg during that class at Franklin, which was cool, but I had to have my hand held. I’ve since forgot 95% of that process. Nice. I just want to create some really nice silver gelatin prints that I can be proud of. Something from my 4x5 would be amazing to see in 8x10. I want to get confident enough in the process to switch from RC paper to something real nice and fibrous.

• Alt-developing / Alt-printing - I want to mess with some weird shit. I don’t know what it is yet, but something maybe something with tinting. Give me some platinum/palladium, maybe a cyanotype or glass plates or something, I don’t know. A straight week or two of doing something different would probably be good for me and maybe even unlock some new side-quests.

So why make a Substack? Well, I’m going to fuck things up. A lot. I mean I already have, it’s how I learn. It’s how I think most of us learn. I literally just developed two sheets of 4x5 film from a single film holder and one was completely unexposed and one had a double exposure - you’ll see it later. Transitioning from a deeply digital workflow into one that is purely analog is worth documenting for me, and maybe worth following along with for you.

I can’t promise this isn’t going to be a real shitshow.